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More Stupid Myths for Children
- TP Fairy - Leave a turd under your pillow and get a free roll of toilet paper.
- Buckethead - If you spin around five hundred times and say "Buckethead" each time and then you stop, you'll see a guy with a blood bucket on his head behind you in the mirror. And then he'll give you the finger.
- Passover Beaver - An eight-foot-tall beaver will arrive bearing an urn full of multi-colored pork chops.
- Spider Monkey Day - If you wave your genitals at Bosco the Spider Monkey and if he runs away from it, you must then consume all the pickles in your house, since the pickle-harvesting season will end early that year. And, yes, you have to eat the pickles, even if you have a severely allergic reaction that will cause you to drop dead from eating just one. Hey, don't get mad at me... I don't make up the rules, man.
- God.
- Beware of Manhole Covers - If you step on a manhole cover for the sewer system, your grandmother gets anal from a prison gang.
- Deadly Apple Seeds - If you swallow some apple seeds, trees will grow in your stomach, and then you'll have green pubic hair.
- Boogers - If you eat a whole bunch of your own, you'll be way smart when you get older, but if you eat someone else's boogers, you'll become retarded.
- Masturbation - If you masturbate excessively, everyone will be able to tell since other sets of "balls" will start growing on your palms.
- Hopscotch - Everytime you miss a square during a game of hopscotch, that will be one more time that a boyfriend will cheat on you in the future. And, yes, that applies to boys as well since you have to be gay if you're playing a game of hopscotch.